I spend a lot of my time doing what I call "self entertainment," in which I basically laugh at everything I encounter. It's a process that is vital to my mental health in many ways, because, let's be honest, I'm in college, encountering stresses that I never have had to cope with before, including a roomie who is my polar opposite in nearly every way. I'm not sleeping enough/restfully enough, mostly because of aforesaid roomie (who BTW is not the one I started out with--she was fabulous), and my sense of humor is the only thing that stops me from coming unglued on a daily basis.
Tonight, I had a vivid glimpse of what I could have been. This same bent, which I use to radiate amusement and reinforce contentment, can be used with malice aforethought. I could have become a bitter cat instead, old before my time, spiteful, mocking, nasty, vengeful, but God has changed me.
I know that a lot of people don't have much use for religion. Honestly, I don't have much use for religion (and what most Americans mean by "religion" is what you get when you attend church without knowing God). Religion can really mess people up, but God changes lives. I'm proof of that. I am not in the process of becoming my Grandma Becky, even though I'm just like Dad who is just like her.
Post Scriptum: Y'know, this is not a post I ever anticipated putting on this blog. I did not ever intend for the blog to be about my spiritual life (partly because it is a very hard thing to write about without becoming sanctimonious), but nevertheless my life revolves around my church, the Bible, and God. So since this has become an existential blog anyway, y'all can just cope with the occasional post that involves God. I'll try not to be pompous about it, but I'm officially no longer self-editing to not mention the biggest part of my life. It is, after all, my blog. ;-)